So the big event is here, and I have to hand it to Vanderbilt. Most students don’t know what a “rite” is, but everyone knows that T.I. is going to jail. Since the school dished out all its housing renovation money to bring in “the king of the South,” naturally you will want to get the most out of this experience. However, as many savvy seniors could warn you, Rites of Spring is not always the treasured memory that you might hope for. Common dilemmas include: lost valuables, brutal sunburn and passing out at 8:30 p.m. to sleep through the concert. The solution here is simple: Don’t drink. Haha, no, but seriously, there are some things you can do.

The first, and really one of the most valuable things, you can do is to get good seats or positioning. I shouldn’t need to explain that being closer to the stage means you are nearer to people who are having fun.

There are some methods to this, but your most surefire option is simply to get there early. You’ll be greeted by a pleasant mesh of grad students and yes, that’s right … families! Believe it or not, people who are not Vanderbilt students still attend Rites of Spring, and they bring picnic blankets. When you get there early, you can follow suit and set out lawn chairs. Although come 10 or 11 p.m., you may get some awkward stares or good, old-fashioned curb stompings if you are still lounging in the front row.

So as you can see, getting there early will only get you so far. Never fear, there’s a field-tested resolution. On your way back from the bathroom, shoulder your way through the mass of grinding couples, jumping fist-pumpers and subtle pot-smokers, frantically explaining: “I gotta get back to my friends! Sorry, my friends are up front!” You’ll find some people are resistant or tired of this excuse, so you can notch up the intensity with a similar pattern involving screaming for your missing baby you left at the front of the mosh pit.

Another popular exercise is to get separated from your friends and attempt to call them about eight times before realizing that the only directions they can give you is that “they’re towards the front.” Also, I would recommend that you do some research. When T.I. takes the stage, you don’t want to be that girl who squeals: “Oooh, I can’t wait till he sings ‘Goldigger.’” You can always go above and beyond and impress your friends with little nuggets of trivia, like: “Did you know T.I. was originally from China, with the name Tienanmen Ichiro?”

One final thought about what is nearest to your heart: alcohol. Apparently, there’s some very strict, intense rules about bringing in alcohol to Rites, such as being over 21. To problem solve: You can stuff alcohol in your clothes, throw bottles over the fence to friends, give a commission to willing senior friends or my personal favorite — make the moocher rounds. Grab a wingman, and chat up some of those aforementioned hippy families about how much better concerts were in the haze of their LSD college years. Meanwhile your friend robs their cooler. Enjoy!

—Justin Poythess is a senior in Peabody College. He can be reached at j.poythress@vanderbilt.edu.