In America, our visual media has a default masculine bias, bombarding females daily with unrealistic images of “ideal beauty.” So what’s a poor Vandy girl to do? Sadly, I learned at an event sponsored by a new campus group, the I Am Beautiful Campaign, that 80 percent of female college students have a negative body image, often manifesting itself dangerously in the form of an eating disorder.
Men, myself included, love eye candy. Is this regressive? Probably, but unless you rebuild all of Western visual culture from the ground up and tweak our genetic code to boot, you won’t stand a chance of changing the fact that men judge women based on their appearance. But beyond a woman’s weight, many other factors go into a “beautiful” appearance — one’s eyes, face, hair and clothing — and a fully beautiful person is made up by her heart, mind and personality.
Vandy girls, if you want to attract a confident guy who values things that matter, you will have to bring your best game; I can’t help you there. But whatever traits you have, learn to play your strengths. A man wants his match to have a big heart, a great personality and a brilliant mind, but it takes time to discover these things, whereas he can judge women on appearance anonymously in the blink of an eye. Because college men have a limited amount of time and money to devote to relationships, it simply makes sense from our perspective to go after the most physically attractive candidates first.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Turn the tables. Instead of waiting for the guy to approach you, introduce yourself and woo him with your unique personality. Guys may be surprised, but perhaps intrigued and even turned on by your self-confidence. Confidence naturally attracts confidence, and this tactic will allow you to reach the lazy, or those who have had their pride hurt, both of which are to be had in abundance. The only guys you will definitely not attract are those with regressive views on the place of women in society. Not a bad deal, huh?
Even if a Vandy girl is confident in her ability to attract men, she still feels rivalry among her peers to keep up appearances. This unfortunate fact manifests itself most fully during the sorority recruitment process. The standards set by the “best” sororities trickle down to the “rest” of the sororities and to the female undergraduate population at large, creating a competitive atmosphere that endures beyond rush season. Even if the rumors of public weighings aren’t true, the fact they exist reveals something about the sorority culture. The appearance arms race is a vicious cycle, and it won’t stop until individual men and women actively change the way they see others.
Vandy girls, next time you pass on a meal, step on the elliptical or buy a new dress, think to yourself: Who am I doing this for? Do I deserve to go out of my way for anyone, male or female, who views me only as a decoration? The world will keep demanding more and more of you, but only you have the power to say enough is enough. Unless you stand up for your rights, others will be more than happy to define them for you.
—Jesse Jones is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Science. He can be reached at jesse.g.jones@vanderbilt.edu.
