1. Leggings ARE NOT pants.
  2. Exceptions to #1:
    • You are hitting the gym or going to your dance class to maintain that svelte, I-can-pull-off-leggings body.
    • You promised your mom that you would accompany her to her next jazzercise class at the Y. You also have a super-cool headband to complete the ironic 80s reference.
    • Your name is Beyonce.
    • You’re a 5’11”, 100 lb. international runway model. It is okay for you to go pantsless just as it is okay for you to go braless. Because chances are, your goodies are only a Google Image Search away anyway.
  • Our Rule of Thumb: Pair leggings only with tops that cover your bottom when standing. Bend over at your own peril.
  1. Jeggings: Just Say No.  Sure, the jean-legging hybrid is more comfortable than nerve-damaging skinnies. But if comfort is your main concern, you might as well just reach for the sweatpants... (After all, they disguise your lumps and thunderthighs better.)
  2. Slashes are for tires, not leggings. So if you wake up for less than $10,000 a day, please put away the busted can of biscuits.
  3. Let’s do some math! Leggings are not pants. Tights are not leggings. Therefore, tights are not pants. (Follow this rule to save both of us some time.  We won't have to write "The 5 Commandments of Tights," and you won't have to read about your thunderthighs in Versus.)

Login or Register to leave comments.