Dear Versus,
It’s almost Halloween and I still don’t have a costume! I’m sick of dressing up with cat ears every year — this year I want to be a celebrity. I want to look fashionable and be easy to identify (I refuse to entertain “who are you?” questions this year). Please help me!
--Sick of the “Sexy Kitten” Halloween costume
Dear Sexy Kitten,
Halloween may be the one day a year on which a girl can dress like a slut and no other girl can say anything nasty about her (thank you, “Mean Girls”), but this year, wearing American Apparel Spandex and animal ears is predictable and trite. A memorable Halloween costume, one that is both stylish and clever, takes more than dressing risque. I don’t care of you’ve worn uber-chic Parisian Agent Provocateur lingerie every Halloween: This year, don a wig, go incognito and dress like your favorite celebrity.
Why dress like a celebrity? Because the celebrity wardrobe is always on the cutting edge of fashion; because maybe your newfound fame will allow you to cut the line at McFadden’s; and because a costume is intended to disguise you. Wearing minimal clothing (circa last year’s costume) is hardly a disguise.
What are some great options? Considering that 2009 is the year of the celebrity, or perhaps the dead celebrity, it’s only fitting that you make this your Halloween costume. Since it’s important to be a recognizable celebrity, you don’t want to go to extreme discomfort or embarrassment in your fashion choice to look ambiguous, choose a celebrity with an eccentric look, i.e., Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga or burlesque star Dita Von Teese.
For the “MJ,” pair this season’s cropped leather jacket (red is preferable) and a pair of spandex (arguably, the only time that spandex without a shirt will be appropriate). To look more feminine (no pun intended), try a trendy leather or sequined mini — add men’s-inspired oxford flats to balance the look and, of course, the signature glove (DIY: buy cheap sequined or jewel-toned pieces at a craft store and some super glue to adorn the glove) and a black fedora.
I know that I lectured against dressing provocatively for Halloween, but missing an opportunity to dress like Lady Gaga would be unfair! Considering that this superstar takes the most daring fashion risks and hardly ever wears pants, it’s appropriate that some of her street clothes, and your costume, be revealing. If you are daring, buy a plain black leotard and a black faux-leather or sequined bustier. Next, purchase a platinum blonde wig (any style will work, but I prefer her modern straight-cut bangs and long blonde style). A pair of black leather boots or patent pumps for your feet and black lipstick (make sure to only outline part of your pout. If you are a fan of the artist, you will understand my lipstick direction). Skip the bronzer and keep the rest of your make-up matte. Finally, add Gaga’s futuristic, opaque black shades. If you can find a platinum blonde hair bow, more power to you — if not, you’ll still perfect her avant-garde wardrobe and have a good excuse to sing “Paparazzi” all night.
Verdict: If you dare to look predictable and out of fashion, throw on some animal ears —only the most daring “fashionista” can pull off Gaga or MJ. I’m sure you know who I’m going to be...
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