Don’t let the cynics get you down. Venice has it’s overpriced, overtouristy bits, but it also has lots of beautiful and cool parts. As a generally cynical person, I thought I would be turned off of Venice by it’s weird, expensive time capsule of yesteryear-ness and the pervasive sense of decadence that ignores all the serious problems that are literally coming up through the floorboards and paving stones of the city. But once I saw the Grand Canal and heard the cutely quiet bustle of a city without cars, I realized how freaking dumb it was to fight this Venice’s undeniable charm.
The Venetians have mastered decadence in a way I thought only 18th century French kings could achieve. Everything there is beautiful! And we had a pretty decadent weekend: a European casino, the opera, and non-house wine! (No one in Venice is poor enough to order house wine, so they don’t even offer it). Obviously we also went to see a lot of famous stuff you’ve already heard of and that I won’t waste your time with. Except did you know that the Bellini was invented in Venice? I took an unofficial Bellini tour through Venice…
As the most risk-averse person I know, I planned on going along as moral support more than a gambler for the casino adventure. Except did you know that Europeans gamble in deathly silence? No flashing lights, no alcohol, no talking. Unlike Vegas, pissing away your money over card games is apparently no laughing matter here. To pass the time I bet (and promptly lost) 5 euros at a slot machine. I didn’t really take to gambling, but I did take to people-watching in one of the most hilariously sterile settings I’ve seen here! I’d have a picture for you to capture this alien world, but I think the flash would have blinded the slot machine zombies.
In a turn both classy and trashy, we saw the Cliffs Notes version of Verdi’s “La Traviata.” Instead of the whole 4 hour commitment, we saw an abbreviated performance in an old guild building. Sometimes it didn’t feel abbreviated. Once you adjust to the fact that you’ve signed yourself up for a few hours of chubby, profusely sweaty people bludgeoning you with the strength of their voices, it’s actually pretty cool to watch the story and see if you can pick out some recognizable phrases and words in their old-timey Italian!
Highlight/Lowlight of the trip: Someone on our trip jumped into the Grand Canal! At the time this was uproariously hilarious, unbelievable, and totally worth the 5 euros I contributed to the reward pot. Frankly, I didn’t think she’d do it. The water in Venice is notoriously disgusting (a working port close by and hundreds of years of sludge and pollution aren’t a recipe for cleanliness), plus you could land on something sharp, and it’s cold outside. If I’d been her, I would have backed out at the last minute – but that’s why I’m the most risk-averse person I know. Unfortunately, it turns out that swimming in the canals is actually illegal. So now we all get to make a short film about the consequences of reckless behavior abroad as punishment for our part in this (now a lot less funny) escapade. Stay tuned for my directorial/screenwriting/acting debut!
