I have never been a rocker. When I was younger, my parents made me play the piano for three years, and I complained so much they eventually let me quit. Even so, there are times I wish I had made an effort to learn to play a "cooler" instrument, like the guitar or the drums.
As it is, with my complete lack of knowledge on how to coax a chord from an electric guitar, any potential jam session I might have would be sure to include nothing more than me swinging my head like an idiot while plucking random strings in an attempt to generate some energy. Strangely enough, when I listen to the seven short tracks on "A Lesson in Crime," Tokyo Police Club's debut EP, I can't help but feel mindlessly jamming with no point or purpose is exactly what they are doing.
When other people describe Tokyo Police Club's music they use words like "dance-punk," "spazzy" and "refreshingly jittery." To me, these words do nothing more than cover up the fact that the music has no coherence whatsoever. Each song consists of a series of haphazardly placed drumbeats, solos composed of electronica bloops and a very heavy dose of static. I wanted to find some knob I could twist to make everything clearer because it sounded like someone had left a static television running in the background.
And all this doesn't even include the vocals, which are, quite honestly, insane: "I have a microchip / implanted in my heart / so if I try to escape / the robots will blow me apart."
But despite how much I want to dismiss this album as garbage and move on with my life, I can't deny there is something inherently interesting about hearing someone go absolutely crazy. Even when the tracks were grating against my eardrums, I didn't want to turn down the volume because I couldn't help but be amazed by their unabashed enthusiasm. For better or worse, this music will grab your attention. Even the track names have little dashes before each one, which caused iTunes to boot them all to the top of my list when I sorted my music alphabetically. Is it a tacky and potentially annoying way to get people to notice your songs? Yes, but it works.
Like I said, "A Lesson In Crime" is only a debut EP. Its seven tracks, each clocking in at less than three minutes, won't entertain you for long. But then again, Tokyo Police Club's music isn't about running a marathon of smoothly flowing melody - it's a sprint to the finish, and if your heart isn't pounding by the time the CD stops spinning, then you probably aren't someone who should be spending your time listening to music anyway.
However, the sound is definitely not for everyone. The confusingly loud tones will distract most people, and even those who try to listen deeper might be dissuaded by the vocals, which sound like someone singing into a walkie-talkie. Still, if you've got a passion for losing yourself in a gratuitous outpouring of energy, I strongly encourage you to push your way through the static.
