Imagine seeing this on "craigslist":

For lease:

- 4-person apartment in Chaffin Place, Vanderbilt Campus (10-15 minute walk to most classes).
- +/- 600 square feet
- 2 double bedrooms, 1 small bathroom.
- Built in 1977, has not been completely renovated
- Small kitchen has linoleum floors, laminate counters and cabinets, low-end electric stove and small fridge. No dishwasher, laundry facilities within a 3 minute walk outside.
- Bedrooms have shared closets, industrial carpeting, paper-thin walls, and include crappy dorm furniture at no additional fee.
- Heat on first floor does not work (sorry!)
- Roof in living room leaks during heavy rain (sorry!)
- Bathroom features sink that doesn't drain properly, moldy ceilings, hot water at some times, cracked and mismatched tiles
- Classy fluorescent lighting throughout. Trash cans included!
- Small balcony with rusty railing and wasp infestation. Great view of weedy, overgrown grounds and noisy neighbors!
- Weekly bathroom cleaning on some weeks.

- Restrictions: No toasters, pets, griddles, portable heaters, or unregistered fun of any kind. Most social gatherings must be registered with apartment staff at least 48 hours in advance. Some noise and other requirements apply. Apartment will not be available to tenant at certain times, including holidays. Security and other checks could be conducted at any time with limited notice. All bills paid!

$3,133.78/month (07-08 room fee x 4 / 9 months)

- Parking available within a 5 minute walk for additional $200/year per vehicle. Restrictions apply.
- Free access to worthlessly lavish Highland Quad. events with free food no one will eat.
- Call today, this one's sure to go fast!
- Those with any presence of mind need not apply.