The world is full of people, and they can’t all make the best decisions all of the time. So, as every news junkie knows, there are always plenty of mistakes, oversights, embarrassments, and gaffes to go around and provide fodder for the relentless 24-hour news cycle. Offered here are just a few of the more recent noteworthy anti-accomplishments from local, national, and international news. While some of these are merely amusing, others actually raise important issues worthy of consideration and discussion.
1. CIA erases interrogation tapes:
The CIA erased video recordings it made of interrogations of terror-related suspects in 2002, citing fear they would leak to public. This is Christmas come early for conspiracy theorists.
2. Bush gives out wrong hotline number:
If any frazzled homeowners seeking mortgage relief followed President George W. Bush’s advice and called the number he issued in recent remarks for his administration’s new “Hope Now Hotline,” 1-800-995-HOPE, they were quickly connected to the Freedom Christian Academy, which provides Christian home schooling material. A correction was promptly released with the actual number of the hotline, 1-888-995-HOPE.
3. Sherri Shepherd doesn’t understand “B.C.”:
As they always do, the women of “The View” were discussing ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus, when overpaid, undereducated co-host Sherri Shepherd became confused. “I don’t think anything pre-dated Christians,” explained Shepherd. “Jesus came first.” Epicurus, meanwhile, lived from 341 to 270 B.C.
4. Someone forgets to update administration on Iran:
This week’s U.S. National Intelligence Estimate says Iran stopped working on nuclear weapons all the way back in 2003, despite repeated assertions by administration officials to the contrary. While a bit of an embarrassing gaffe, especially considering Bush was briefed on this back in August, at least this time our WMD intelligence seems good and doesn’t point to war.
5. Brent Eric Finley’s friends and family fall hard:
Somehow this guy was able to convince a number of people that his wife was a government agent with the capabilities of arranging to have their medical problems diagnosed via satellite imaging, a lie that earned him over $800,000. Although, to be fair, it also earned him over four years in prison.
6. College students lose memory game to chimp:
In a test of short-term memory, Japanese researchers had college students face off against chimps in a computer game. Guess who won. One hint: It wasn’t the college students. … Woah, hey, have you heard about these chimps that have better short term memory than college students? Apparently some Japanese researchers …
7. A lot of people made the movie “Awake”:
This movie currently rated a 15 percent on rottentomatoes.com, may, at first glance, have one of the most ludicrous plots to hit theaters in quite some time. All those involved in its production deserve some share of our collective scorn. These individuals include, writer/director Joby Harold, consistently uncompelling Hayden Christianson, Jessica Alba and the usually interesting, though apparently occasionally misguided, Terrence Howard.
8. Sudanese officials freak out over teddy bear:
After a disgruntled former employee sought to get Unity High School in
Khartoum shut down by ratting out the existence of a teddy bear named “Mohammed” in the classroom of British teacher Gillian Gibbons, we were all treated to one of the more bizarre international crises to come along in quite some time. Gibbons was sentenced to 15 days in jail, after being threatened with 40 lashes and a six-month jail term, before she was ultimately pardoned.
9. Ishmael Smith cries over missed dunk:
One wonders what is more embarrassing for the Wake Forest guard, missing a wide open dunk at the end of a close loss to the Vanderbilt Commodores, who subsequently remain undefeated, or having his coach tell the press afterwards, “The kid is crying his eyes out in the locker room right now.”
10. McCain gets lamest celebrity endorsement:
Obama has Oprah. Streisand is crooning for Clinton. Chuck Norris and Mike Huckabee are kicking up a storm. Guiliani has Pat Robertson on his side. But, the only person shilling for McCain is Curt Schilling. And, of course, for a 71-year-old conservative candidate, nothing says youthful and strong like a 41-year-old barely held together pitcher from Boston.
