Sexy: 1) Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest. 2) Slang Highly appealing or interesting; attractive.

That’s from the American Heritage Dictionary, so you know it’s legit. You may think it’s superfluous to define such a common word, but I think it’s necessary in order to defend my choices below. You may not want to get jiggy with a Ferrari, but it’s sexy because of its allure, excitement, and sleekness. But it didn’t make my list. This stuff is way more interesting. Here’s what’s bringing sexy back in 2008.  

 

SEXY STUFF: MY TOP 7

 

7. Uno the Beagle

He made history on Tuesday, when he became the first beagle to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. This barely three-year-old pooch already has numerous accolades, but this “Best in Show” win secures his place in doggy history. Pups who eat steak on silver platters = incredibly sexy in my book.

 

6. North Dakota 
"We may be freezing to death today, but we're not having the tough times like everyone else in the country," says Kris Sheridan, a Fargo real estate agent and one of North Dakota’s sexiest. Homeowners, homebuyers, real estate agents, and mortgage lenders in the Roughrider State make my list due to their healthy housing market. The rest of the country may be freaking out and fearing recession, but these people aren’t sweating it. House values actually increased, and the people credit their success to their conservative business practices. How arousing.  

5. Lisa Takeuchi Cullen
This Time, Inc employee is actually sexy for being anti-sexy. And for superfluous use of the word “porn.” Time, Inc owns a whole bunch of magazines, including Sports Illustrated. The SI swimsuit issue is the biggest moneymaker, so they give all employees a free copy. Cullen takes political correctness to new heights by claiming that the company forced her to view porn, aka women in bathing suits. They FORCED you, Ms. Cullen? Hmm…Let’s throw Time on the list for somehow holding Cullen’s eyes open while flipping pages and exposing her virgin eyes to women clothed in less than turtle necks and khakis.

4. Time, Inc.

Thanks to their Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, we can have intelligent debates about whether photos of beautiful women objectify our sex. On one hand, these women volunteered to pose for the issue. The US is a free country, and they are free to show off their beautiful bodies. Women shouldn’t have to feel bad about their sexuality or keep it in the closet. On the other hand, some men ogle these pics and might start treating women like sex machines. Viewpoints like that could contribute to violence against women. I could go on and on, but you get the point. Intellectual debates on the nature of ‘sexy’ get two thumbs up.

 

3. Denzel Washington
Ok, he’s getting a bit too old to be America’s sex symbol. But I suppose baby boomers need love, too. If I were judging physical sex appeal, Tyrese would be the obvious choice. But Denzel is sexy for a different reason: his recent film, “Great Debaters,” was named top film at the NAACP Image Awards. Washington, Jurnee Smollett and teenager Denzel Whitaker starred in the film and received acting awards. In this age of drunken, partying, destructive stars (Winehouse, Spears, Lohan…), debaters get the sexy nod for being a breath of fresh (and non-creepy) air.

2. Naked Mole Rats
They are arguably the ugliest, weirdest, nastiest little creatures on the planet. However, these creepy critters may hold the key to the fountain of youth. They can live 10 times longer than mice (27+ years!!!), never get cancer (most mice have cancer by age 2), and don’t have menopause. Researchers have no idea why but are busy trying to figure it out.

1. Vandy Men’s Basketball Team
Memorial Magic. Vandy v. Kentucky. 93-52. HELL. YEAH.

Tags: