Since the bitter game of delegates, superdelegates and woe marches on like the Rolling Stones, defying time and common sense, it’s hard to round up much analysis of Hillary Clinton’s victory in Pennsylvania just now.
A loss Tuesday would have been the kiss of death — the same can be said for Texas last month or the fast-approaching North Carolina — but with the stern chastity of Mother Superior, Clinton told Pennsylvania to keep its hands to itself.
As always, we have to throw at least a passing thought to the eternal question: What did it for the Custer Comeback Kid this time? Just as one might expect from a race involving Clinton, the reasons get more preposterously negative as we march into the summer. Perhaps blue-collar voters irate about Barack Obama’s ivory tower diagnosis of chronic bitterness opted for the shameless liar. The waffle iron to Obama’s jaw during the debate last week likely reinforced the predisposition Pennsylvania voters seemed to have for Clinton originally. That’s the real crux of the Pennsylvania vote: For whatever reason — union voters, lower class voters, the doing of shots — she was penciled in for Pennsylvania long ago and, since the Tuzla Dash, she hasn’t faltered too much.
Regardless, we’re just trapped on the boat with Willy Wonka, waiting for the nomination to end mercifully. Even as a devout Republican who loves what this whole situation is doing for John McCain, I’ve had enough of it. Primaries simply melt into the void of numbers and anticipation; each time one of these defining moment primaries rolls around, either Obama wins decisively or Clinton does the “Remember the Titans” shuffle and we’re right back where we started. Will it ever end?
The answer, of course, is no. And since the nomination will not be over until Clinton bakes cookies in the kitchen at the devil’s summer home while hell gets a light dusting of snow, I’m taking this opportunity to bust out a brief yearly review of my own.
A year ago, Obamania was but a glimmer in the eyes of Chris Matthews and a few college students doing progressivism under some bleachers. I was thoroughly under the impression that Obama was secretly a conservative Democrat in the leagues of Mark Warner — someone moderate Republicans might vote for and possibly like.
Meanwhile, McCain’s little phoenix that could lay rolling around in a pile of ashes, coughing and weeping softly about the death tax. Here’s some insightful commentary from an e-mail of mine last June: “I like (McCain) a lot. Actually, he's my policy guy. I love him in debates. I'm very much a McCain/ pro-war/ anti-torture supporter. Unfortunately, I don't think he has a chance.” So, spot on as always.
If you consider for a moment those heady days of yesteryear, when Fred Thompson was the summer crush and Clinton couldn’t exist in a sentence without the word inevitable somewhere nearby, you realize how far beyond words this election cycle has been in terms of all out ridiculousness.
Here’s the even stranger part: As lightning quick as this school year as gone by, another will too, and at this point next year we will be three months into the presidency of John McCain.
Katherine Miller is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Science. She can be reached katherine.m.miller@vanderbilt.edu and Right-Wing Vitriol.
