Facebook — the one true constant in a college student’s volatile life. Whenever I was bored, lonely or studying for a test, I could sign on, check out the News Feed and recommence stalking my “friends.” Life was great.  

That was then, this is now. When I sign into the new Facebook, I’m just sad. Where is my friend, with whom I’ve shared so many good memories (with people I don’t really even know)?  

At one glorious moment in time Facebook was reserved for those who had a college e-mail address. I looked down on those MySpacers and their unorganized, sprawling communication network. However, those feelings of superiority have been washed away by Facebook’s recent transition.

Here is something weird — the new phonebook listing. It’s one thing to allow someone to click through my tagged pictures, but to be able to get my phone number from a listing on Facebook? You know what else is weird? The Live Feed. I feel like I’m gamecasting my friends’ lives. I guess I don’t really have to go out anymore; instead I can just wait for Facebook’s minute-by-minute updates (which is good because my typical conversation is relatively uncomfortable).

How do we know this new Facebook is miserable? At the top of the News Feed Facebook offers its users a tutorial option to become acquainted with the new Facebook. A tutorial? Really? If I needed to use Photoshop I’d think about clicking on the tutorial, but Facebook?  

Maybe I’m not the biggest fan of change. But in my opinion, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.   The original Facebook was  efficient and orderly, much unlike Mark Zuckerberg’s most recent spawn. Am I that angry about Facebook’s recent demise? Not really, because it is fantasy football season, and I usually kill time by reading Sunday predictions. But one day I’ll return to Facebook’s welcoming embrace only to be met by a shadow of Facebook’s former self.