“Set it off!” And with that, the acorn bombs were let go from their launching spots in the trees. They were intended to drive the unsuspecting students away from our homes and on to other places. We were sick and tired of letting them step all over us and chase us up trees; tired of having to jump limb to limb to avoid the land that was rightfully ours!

And so with one signal, we managed to knock a few of them unconscious and send the rest of them scurrying to the safety of their own dorms. Oh, it felt so good! It gave us time to build more squirrelly inventions like acorn trebuchets so we could hit them square on the nose, and gum-filled acorns specially designed for students to step on. That would teach them not to step on our property! Step on it and waste hours of their lives cleaning up the mess. We even learned to be like beavers and make the trees fall on them. The price of losing a few homes was always worth it.

But, alas, we learned we were still not the superior species as they laid poisoned acorns in our own trees. We lost so many in our battles with them that we had no choice but to give in and enjoy what we had. Submission aside, we actually have a pretty good life. And so, we are now strong once again, but we have learned our lesson.