Some of you may have just returned from a road trip down to Mardi Gras or elsewhere last weekend. Others are planning some road trip mania for the upcoming spring break. Whether it's heading somewhere in Mexico where people won't immediately be able to upload videos of you onto the Internet or trying to feel good about having fun on Alternative Spring Break, everyone wants to have a pleasant road trip.

There's no way around it really; spending eight or more hours in the car will most likely not be the best times of your trip, but there's some methods to make it a little more tolerable.
Tip #1: Designate two drivers. If there's just one driver, he will simply get grumpy. (Both drivers should certainly be male — if you're on an all-female road trip, recruit a strange man at a rest stop or at least have one of your friends dress up as a guy to put other drivers at ease.) Have the drivers alternate, with one always sleeping. If you ride shotgun, you don't sleep. This sometimes gets overlooked because the driver doesn't want to seem like a selfish, lonely jerk begging for your company. Forget that. Crank the music really loud for a second, or get in a small wreck to teach the passenger a lesson.

Tip #2: Designate specific bathroom times, like once every three hours or so. Nothing saps the life out of a road trip worse than stopping every 10 miles. We all have that friend who seems to have the bladder control of a second grader and insists on pulling over two to three times an hour, claiming an emergency. I know because I am that friend. Two tactics here: Don't allow this person a beverage of any sort. Hopefully he or she will pass out from dehydration and remain unconscious until you arrive at the destination. Or consider equipping your weak link with adult diapers: They're more dignified than they sound when you're trying to shave off two hours of your trip by speeding.

Tip #3: Do the cruise control game. Dangerous at first, then it slowly grows on you, then you realize again how dangerous it is. This is where the driver sets a cruise control and sees how long he or she can maintain that speed. All tactics, including driving on the median or shoulder, tailgating or taking the wrong exit, are permissible.

Tip #4: Designate a road trip drunkard. If possible, try to make this selection coincide with your weak bladder member. It's not a good idea for any more than one person to do this, because problems overlap with Tips No. 1 and No. 2. On the plus side, this vital crew member will provide endless entertainment and foolish antics until he or she collapses or vomits all over the car.

Tip #5: Play music. Bring whatever you can in the way of CDs, iPods, etc. Eventually you will run out of anything remotely interesting to do or say. Control over selection of the next song will become the sole focus of car interactions. Each member wishes to prove he will be able to select a forgotten but well-loved gem of a song everyone will enjoy. To avoid dispute, radio control should default to shotgun passenger, with an open driver veto.

Justin Poythress is a senior in Peabody College. He can be reached at j.poythress@vanderbilt.edu.