If nothing else, this election season has taught me one absolute truth: always take Sarah Palin’s advice.  So when it came to casting my vote today, what did I do?  Doggon’ it, I got all mavericky in that booth.  I voted for myself!

     Sure, you may think the campaign has been defined by things like hope, change, and John McCain searching for his wayward pal Puddles (YouTube it), but I say personal empowerment won out as the paramount theme. Voting drives abound, volunteers convinced men, women and animated friends (I’m looking at you, ACORN) alike to use their voice, whether while participating in government or verbally assaulting volunteers.  Empowerment?  I think so!

     Tonight, Barack Obama will likely become President elect, a feat that not only encourages more African Americans to strive for the tippy-top, but also people with white teeth and good speaking voices.  Throughout the campaign, John McCain and Joe Biden have proved that elderly folk can do anything, except avoid appearing really, really elderly.   

     Sarah Palin’s uncanny rise (whether she succeeds or Alaska secedes, don’cha know?) has epitomized personal empowerment: she literally empowered herself by aerially slaying tundra creatures with a shotgun, and encouraged women to seek office by presenting herself as a tangible role model (you too can have an X-Treme! husband, pregnant teenage daughter, and homey vocabulary). 

     So, naturally, I took this theme one step further and cast my vote for Charles Hussein Kesslering (a write-in, of course).  I may have no experience, no personality and no cool nickname like “Rogue” or “that Muslim,” but I’ve been empowered.  That’s what counts.